It's Been A While
And it's been dark... Cutting straight to the chase, I've been in a horrible, horrible place. Suicidal thoughts have been running rampant, the depression has filled me and taken over my insides again, I've been incredibly detached and have dissociated to a degree the more the depression grows, and as far as my ed is concerned, it's been incredibly hard to fight. I've been sucked into it to the point that no number is low enough, food seems impossible to eat, I've made it a pound away to my lowest weight (though it still doesn't look like it to me but I can tell from the way my clothes fit), and I've come to the realization that if I don't get professional help, I'm going to die. Either slowly from the ed. Or quickly from the depression. And honestly, I feel the depression would be more likely. The ed has become such a strong obsession and the behaviors have become so compulsory that I just can't stop... not on my own. I feel like an ad...