Out Of Order

I'm not talking about the holiday I try to maintain a thankful heart throughout the year and I work on maintaining an attitude of everday gratitude .  Being thankful, particularly to God, is declaring over the enemy the goodness of God and reminding myself of the goodness of God in my life. I'm thankful for so much and have been blessed with so much this year. Using my words to thank God keeps His kindness fresh in my mind so that on the days when it looks like nothing is going right, I can remind myself that, "Hey, remember this, God did this for you." "Remember that, God made a way." Be purposeful in meditating on all that you know that God has done for you. And express it. Talk about it, speak about it to others and especially yourself. I'm remembering the scripture which mentions how we overcome  by "... The word of our testimony." When things get tough, remind yourself of what God has done for you and thank Him for it. And don't w...

This is what I repeat As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm confronted with difficult feelings. Some of the obvious ones concerning food and weight but also not so obvious ones. I'm remembering how I used to be able to eat and eat and eat and not get full. Jokes would be made that I had a black hole for a stomach and I was proud of that. I would eat seconds and thirds and fourths at times because I was either still hungry or just really enjoyed the food and wanted more. Purging (via exercise) has always been something I did even before the restricting started but I still enjoyed the food. Maybe a little too much. .. Sorry, I think that was Ed. Where was I?  Oh right... I was happy that I could eat so much without feeling full. When I was younger I thought, "I can eat as much as a guy", and I felt strong because of it. I wasn't some dainty little girl that could barely finish her meals. I'd finish mine and then some and I loved that about me. Now, looking back...

Thanksgiving This is one of my favorite holidays, or at least was, with the warmth of family, friends, food. There is only one holiday that tops it but that's for another post. For so many, this day is one to be celebrated but for those with eating disorders, this can be a dreadful day. And it's hard to explain exactly why this can be so troublesome for us. In treatment last week, we were given a prompt in the Body Image group. We were to express ourselves in whichever medium we chose with our bodies as the subject. Since I'm a pretty good writer-- or so I've been told-- I decided to use poetry. I hope this can provide some insight of the reality for many with eating disorders, especially during the holidays. And I  hope that everyone out there, eating disordered or not, has a wonderful Thanksgiving .                         ...