Out Of Order

Literally never tasted this good Wow, I have never been in a better place in my life... So I've been out of treatment since early February and since then, things have been really interesting. Long story short, money for insurance was what ended my treatment. It was an abrupt finish and since I was no longer going to be in treatment, I could no longer be housed by the facility. I had no idea where I was going to live or what I was going to do. One thing, well two things, I could be certain of was that the Lord would provide for me and that ed behaviors could not be an option to cope. Don't misunderstand, I was stressed and fighting worry. I hadn't dealt with this type of unknown without using ed behaviors so this upset caused by one of my greatest fears (being evicted/kicked out/sudden relocation) was crushing. It was foreign, as last time I was homeless, I was heavily in the ed. I did not realize just how much anorexia kept me from feeling overwhelmed and unsafe unt...

One whole year I made it. A whole year in California all by my lonesome. Of course, I wasn't alone, the Lord was with me the whole time. One year ago today, I embarked on an incredible journey of faith and fearlessness to the state of which I've always dreamed. God's wisdom lead me and His favor went before me and made a way for me (and still continues to do so). I write this post from my new housemate's home. I moved in with the best friend of my former house mom on July 1st and celebrated my first California fourth of July! Looking back over the past year, I can see how blessed I have been. How much God has done for me out of His faithfulness and provision. I'm sitting here in my housemate's backyard by their pool as the sun sets and takes the colors of the day with it, and I am so thankful to be where I am. ... I want to end this post at "... so thankful to be where I am." but I can't, though I am. This is the first I've written in a ...

What's good I was talking to my "house mom" tonight and she let me know she had been concerned about me lately. She noticed my demeanor and how it's been down recently and offered great advice. She told me to "take off the garment of heaviness for the garment of praise". But how does one do that? Spending time in the Lord's presence definitely helps and the Word of God tells us that He inhabits the praises of His people. In addition to resting in the Lord, she suggested I make a list of some things that He has already done for me. It's a practice of mine to remind myself of God's previous goodness in my life during times when I may be struggling and even though I'm not really struggling to believe in God's faithfulness right now, I still think it would be helpful to do. The Bible tells us to think on those things that are good and lovely and true and just. What equals that more than the demonstrations of God's goodness in our liv...