Out Of Order

There is a difference It always saddens me to find out that someone turned away from Jesus because of the off-putting behaviors of those who claim to follow Him. I can definitely understand the pain one might experience as a result of a Christian falling very short of displaying the love of God and I can understand the knee jerk reaction to no longer want to associate with some who say they are fellow Christians but... that has nothing to do with your own relationship with the Lord. I'll explain my view. I do not follow Jesus based on what my Pastor says on Sundays or based on how those around me who profess Christianity act and live. See, my relationship is not rooted in Christianity, it's rooted in the Christ. And when we find ourselves easily (or maybe not so easily) walking away from the One to Whom we've claimed to give our lives, we have to examine what/Who we were actually following and for what/Whom we were actually living. Christianity is defined as the reli...

What gift can I bring to the King First off, Merry Christmas everyone!!! Yay!! Yes!! Woo!!  Yesterday my church (C3 Church) had an amazing service for Christmas Eve. There was caroling and amazing worship and a great message about offering our gifts to God. And that's such a needed word for us. What is your gift? What is that thing that you can offer to Jesus? The wise men came to the newborn Jesus and presented different gifts to Him. They didn't all bring the same thing but gave what they had. What can you give to Jesus today in honor of His birth and the Ultimate Gift which He has given, Himself? God has given all of us gifts and abilities which we can use to honor Him and bring His name glory. For instance, I have been blessed with an incredible ability to write and create stories and worlds using words. Whether it's in my songs or books, I use this gift to bring God praise, I give this talent back to the King. This is what God has given me and I don't have to ...

Inspired by God As I hinted above, God has been inspiring me with new ways of viewing myself. It's still a struggle at times but it's something I'm trying to believe. I invite you to make these personal for yourself. When Jesus looks at me, He doesn't see my legs or thighs, He doesn't see my collar bones or stomach or any other problem area I feel I have. He sees my spirit, His breath in my lungs, His wonderfully made daughter (or son). I will not make my body more than what it is. It is not my personality. It is not who I am. It is not my dreams and aspirations. It is not my worth. It's just a body, my body. I will decorate it , not destroy it. I will love it for what it can do, not hate it for what it can't. I will appreciate it , not abuse it. I will enjoy it , not envy others'. I will nourish it , not neglect it. I will feed it , not fight it. I will feed it , not fight it. I will feed it , not fight it. The standard is me, not a model ...

  Jesus is alive Hallelujah! The best news I have ever heard! How Satan must have felt when he realized that what he meant for evil, God turned around for good. Jesus defeated death and the grave when He rose and because of that, we have victory. We have freedom! So often, we followers focus so much on the death of our Savior but we neglect His rising from the dead. And that is the most important thing, that is what differentiates our God, our King, from religion-- shout out to my mother. She's right, religions have their heroes and leaders but none have a Savior. None have a God Who not only died for them but rose again  and defeated death and hell. Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory? Our God is alive and alive forever and He came so that we might also have life and have it more abundantly. But the only way to truly have life, spiritually speaking, is through Jesus. That is it. It is not a popular concept in today's society th...

Because this was the day when the greatest love was shown in the most sacrificial and tangible way Good Friday is celebrated by many in remembrance of Jesus' gruesome death and it's considered 'good' because without that death, there would have been an unmet penalty. And humanity would've been looked to for debt collection. Sin had entered the world way back when Lucifer fell from Heaven. And it entered humanity after Adam and Eve bit from that tree. Ever since then, sin has been running rampant. But God knew that sin would come and He knew it would bring with it a divide between the people He created and His holy self. So He lovingly left His home and entered ours. He took on our form and allowed Himself to be killed. No, not killed, murdered. No, destroyed . The Bible states that due to the atrocious whipping that Jesus endured, His body was destroyed beyond recognition.** Can you imagine that? Being beaten past being recognized? And what's more is that Je...

By God I have found myself so enveloped by the goodness of God lately. He's just so good to me and His love is truly relentless. I do not have a story of some amazing thing that happened to me recently which inspired this post. God is just amazing and He doesn't always need to do something for me to recognize that. Sometimes He just overwhelms me with Himself and it's not because of anything I've done. It disrupts my anxiety and overpowers my mind. This is probably one of the shortest, if not the shortest, posts I've written. I just felt that this needed to be said. Because in the midst of my craziness, I can still be overwhelmed by God and it has nothing to do with me. I could scream because of His greatness. Gaaah!!  He is awesome.  

But Jesus still wants me I have many cracks. I worry about everything. I judge myself and sometimes others. I try to be perfect. I struggle with boundary setting. I have yet to master handling my anger in a Godly way. I'm in an abusive relationship which I'm sorta okay with. I hide insecurities by focusing on others. I hide pain by focusing on others. I doubt my salvation and fear I am just pretending. I doubt how I can still be used by God. I find it hard to forgive. I have endless fear induced obsessions. I don't see my worth and I receive God's love to an extent. Sometimes, I just don't care about doing right. I have a tendency to nurse a grudge like a sick toddler. I think the worst of myself and sometimes I think the worst of others. It's hard for me to commit to living by The Love Chapter (1st Corinthians 13). But Jesus still wants me. I give others advice that I myself find a daunting, excruciating task. Sometimes I use words which others might co...

  What does that even mean? I remember being late one day for a therapy appointment. I was berating and condemning myself for screwing up so badly and was fearing that my therapist probably thought of me as a late person. And I'm not a late person. But she wouldn't know that because here I am showing up late to her office. When I finally got inside and we met up, of course I began to apologize and felt shame come over me but then she said something which grabbed my attention by the tatas. "It's okay, you're allowed to be late. You're human." Needless to say but I'll say it anyway, my mind was blown. I really don't remember ever being given permission to be late, which means being human, which means... *gasp*... not being perfect. I sort of short circuited after she said that. I'm allowed to be late? I'm allowed to not be perfect? This was and still is a strange concept but I'm trying to understand it more and more. I expressed...

Sometimes it stings One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting because c'mon, who doesn't like that movie? Robin Williams and Matt Damon were outstanding; it is a beautifully written film! If you've seen it, I'm sure you remember that scene in which Robin's character, Sean, was repeating to Will that "it wasn't his fault" and how the more Will heard it, the more he began to pull away until eventually, he broke down in the doctor's arms. Here's a refresher (and some tissues) just in case... Oh, wow. This right here. I can identify with this so much. As desperate as Will was to hear that all the years of abuse he suffered at his father's hands was not his fault, when he finally heard it, it was too much. It hurt to hear. That's what my interpretation of this scene is anyway. How many of us are so desperate for love that when we finally get it, we pull away? Isn't the mind and how it works incredible? This is where I am, wit...

Who is He God, if you help me out of this situation, I'll go to church. I promise I'll straighten up my life. Have you ever prayed a prayer like that? One that comes from desperation? Lot's of us have, when life get's overwhelming and we feel that our backs are against the wall, we'll do anything to get out of it. And often times, that anything includes making promises that we either can't keep or simply have no intentions on keeping. Or "forget" about keeping. One reason that I believe people tend to stay away from God or the concept of Him is because of their expectations of Him and Who He is. Before we get into Who He is, let's go over Who He isn't. God is not a genie or wizard, He is not a spell or fairy dust that we add to our lives to make them pain proof. And that's where a lot of the disgust towards God comes from. A lot of arguments between Christ followers and non followers usually involve the NF (I'm abbreviating non...

Simply Put... You do need Jesus, we all do. Call me whatever you want but there are only two types of people in the world: those who have Jesus and those who don't . The Bible reads in 2 Peter 3:9, that God is not willing that any should perish but that all would come to repentance. Repentance means change and the only way we can truly change is to place our life in the hands and care of the One Who created us. Now, obviously, not everyone is going to place their lives and belief in God but you  can decide whether or not you want to be one who does. God's Spirit will and does draw us to Him and He places the desire or rather,  awakens the desire within us to come to Him. It is up to us to either accept or reject what is at the root of that desire. Jesus. You have to give up whatever is keeping you from giving your whole self to God. That hindrance may be pride or fear or arrogance or simple ignorance and a misunderstanding of Who God really is or any number of thing. ...

Honestly, I didn't know He was missing It irks me when people say that they "found Christ". I know exactly what they are implying but it's being phrased all wrong. Jesus is not lost, we are.  He is seeking  us and when we come to Him, it's because He found us, not the other way around. I was talking with a good friend of mine tonight and was trying to explain to him that although God is seeking us, He is not unaware of our whereabouts, our positions. He knows where we are but He wants us to choose Him out of a free will, not out of force. He will of course, tug at our hearts and draw us close to Him, but He will not make us accept Him. If we choose another route, He will not force us to make another turn or scream that we are going the wrong way. A comedian explained it like this: when using a navigational system and following it according to its prompts, we will get to where we need to be. But when we start to deviate from those directions, it redirects...