Out Of Order

Emotional tug of war Another great Sunday message! Pastor Jurgen preached from Mark 10:46-52 about the account of Bartimaeus' encounter with Jesus. When Bart, we'll call him Bart for short, heard that Jesus was coming through to Jericho, he began to cry out for Him. You see, Bart was blind and on this day found himself sitting on the roadside begging. He had no doubt heard about all the wonders which Jesus had been doing and he wanted a miracle of his own. He was quieted by those around him as he tried to get the attention of the Savior, but he called all the more. He got Jesus' attention and was asked by Him, "What do you want me to do for you?" Pastor Jurgen explained that when Jesus asks us questions such as these, it isn't because He doesn't know the answer. He wants us to give the answer, He wants us to make our requests known to Him. And that's what Bart did, he told Him he wanted to see. And that's so important. Jesus knew that he ne...

This is what it looks like I am currently driving down what we call "recovery road" and it is bumpy, to say the least. This is the hardest thing I've ever endeavored to do and it is way harder than having an eating disorder. My eating disorder, however painful and exhausting, is cozy and comforting-- falsely, I know. Recovery involves change and adapting new ideas and new coping skills. It involves discomfort and second guesses, lapses and possible relapses, frustration and annoyance. It's being excited for the freedom to eat a fear food but then regretting the excitement. It's also enjoying the company of those whom I'm around due to not fretting over every single food on the table. But my gosh, it's a grueling process. Something that really encourages me to keep driving is keeping before me the fact that there are others who are also fighting for their lives and enduring recovery or treatment. To be specific, last week I found out that the brothe...

But which way do I go Let me start by sharing my immense excitement over this past week. So, per the request of my Pastors, I was invited to share an original poem this past Sunday. I was so excited to do so and God gave me one that same week, the night I was asked, I think. Our series is called God is in This  (which you can hear via podcast by pressing on it), and it chronicles Joseph's life as he went from being a favorite child to being a prisoner to being a ruler. The message on Sunday was amazing and I was so honored to have been able to share my poem, entitled Providence . You see, the series is all about how God was with Joseph throughout every instance in his life and how He still worked things out for his good. And that's what He does in our lives. He provides for us even during the storms. And I was extremely happy to be able to write a poem which could relate to our theme of God's provision. It was amazing sharing it and I finally felt like I belonged in a ...

Sometimes it stings One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting because c'mon, who doesn't like that movie? Robin Williams and Matt Damon were outstanding; it is a beautifully written film! If you've seen it, I'm sure you remember that scene in which Robin's character, Sean, was repeating to Will that "it wasn't his fault" and how the more Will heard it, the more he began to pull away until eventually, he broke down in the doctor's arms. Here's a refresher (and some tissues) just in case... Oh, wow. This right here. I can identify with this so much. As desperate as Will was to hear that all the years of abuse he suffered at his father's hands was not his fault, when he finally heard it, it was too much. It hurt to hear. That's what my interpretation of this scene is anyway. How many of us are so desperate for love that when we finally get it, we pull away? Isn't the mind and how it works incredible? This is where I am, wit...

Simply Put... You do need Jesus, we all do. Call me whatever you want but there are only two types of people in the world: those who have Jesus and those who don't . The Bible reads in 2 Peter 3:9, that God is not willing that any should perish but that all would come to repentance. Repentance means change and the only way we can truly change is to place our life in the hands and care of the One Who created us. Now, obviously, not everyone is going to place their lives and belief in God but you  can decide whether or not you want to be one who does. God's Spirit will and does draw us to Him and He places the desire or rather,  awakens the desire within us to come to Him. It is up to us to either accept or reject what is at the root of that desire. Jesus. You have to give up whatever is keeping you from giving your whole self to God. That hindrance may be pride or fear or arrogance or simple ignorance and a misunderstanding of Who God really is or any number of thing. ...