Recovery Road

This is what it looks like

I am currently driving down what we call "recovery road" and it is bumpy, to say the least. This is the hardest thing I've ever endeavored to do and it is way harder than having an eating disorder. My eating disorder, however painful and exhausting, is cozy and comforting-- falsely, I know. Recovery involves change and adapting new ideas and new coping skills. It involves discomfort and second guesses, lapses and possible relapses, frustration and annoyance.

It's being excited for the freedom to eat a fear food but then regretting the excitement. It's also enjoying the company of those whom I'm around due to not fretting over every single food on the table. But my gosh, it's a grueling process. Something that really encourages me to keep driving is keeping before me the fact that there are others who are also fighting for their lives and enduring recovery or treatment. To be specific, last week I found out that the brother-in law of a very close supporter and friend of mine is going through treatment for his own addiction (I won't get into further details in order that I can respect their privacy). I think it is incredibly brave and takes remarkable strength to combat something within oneself that appears to be a friend. Addictions, whether to self harm or starvation or any other type, means that something is going on inside of the person that they're not properly dealing with. And to finally face the hurt or issue that is causing the self destructive behavior is tremendously difficult.

To everyone out there who is fighting for their lives and choosing recovery every single day, you have my sincerest admiration. You also have strength, determination, courage and support. What you lack in human supporters, God is more than able to provide if only you call out to Him. This road has many craters and potholes along the way but we can't put on the brakes just yet. The Spirit of God will help us if we surrender to and trust in Him.

And to the brother in-law of my dear, sweet friend, I believe in your recovery journey and I am rooting you on. Don't give up, you got this. We all do.


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