“It’s Not About the Belt...

It’s about the journey to the belt”

This was in response to me asking my TSD instructor last Wednesday about skipping a belt for my next test. He explained that he doesn’t skip people through ranks because it’s not just about the belt. It’s amazing how much I learn from my training and classes and how my TSD experience parallels my recovery journey. I have a tendency to demand perfection of myself— working on doing it less, though. That means that if something is possible, then it needs to be possible for me and I must achieve it. And all I needed to see in my training manual was that it’s possible to skip ranks from 9th gup and go straight to 7th gup if one was an exceptional enough student. Well, that became a new goal, briefly. I needed to be exceptional. I needed to go straight from 9th to 7th; just hurry up and get there. Thankfully, that’s not something my sah bum nim (instructor) does because it definitely could’ve changed my motivation for Tang Soo Do. Of course, being who I am, I want to be the best at whatever I do. I want to excel. But that’s not why I joined TSD. I didn't join it to be the best. I joined because I’ve always loved martial arts; I feel strong and capable and overall good. And I fear that if my gwan (school) was one where belt skipping was allowed, that would change things for me. I'd be obsessed with being one of the ones who got to skip and perhaps I'd even start "going through the motions" in an attempt to be better.

So often in recovery, we try to do the same thing. We go through the motions or "belt skip" to speed through the process of things and want just to be better. I get it, the things recovery brings just absolutely SUCKS sometimes. I know I've wanted to go from "sick" to "not sick" without going through the muddy waters of therapy. Just snap my fingers and poof, I'm all better. But I'm learning it really can't be that way. It's like being a 10th or 9th gup (white belt, white belt with stripe) in Tang Soo Doo. It's during that time that I'm going, and need, to fall, miss the target, make mistakes so I can learn and get better. So that I can take what I've learned and apply it as I move up in ranks. It doesn't mean that I'm a failure or my previous accomplishments mean nothing, it simply means I'm going through the process. I'm learning, I'm fighting, I'm growing.

My encouragement is that you don't put pressure on yourself to be better. You can only get better if you allow yourself to go through the journey and not "belt skip". When you fall, get back up. Let yourself experience wherever you are in recovery. When you make a mistake and miss the target, keep trying to hit it because it is possible; so many people have done it before you. And keep learning. Keep fighting because you're growing through this process as you go through it. Be patient and don't give up. You are not alone in this.


Live life. FearLess.