Right Now


Feet in my chair, knees against my chest, I must have sat like that for the longest time before starting this post. I take long, hateful glances at the uneaten cereal, which has been sitting on my desk for at least 20 min, as if it has offended me in some way. Well, I do find its presence awful. My jaw is clenched and tears are hiding behind my eyes, waiting for the right moment to fall. There is a deep and heavy anger inside of me. I can't put off eating much longer. The first bite down, tears still hiding. A few more spoonfuls. I loathe it. How many more until the bowl is empty? Sit. Take a break. The letters on my keyboard look distorted through my welling tears. One slides down my cheek. I want to get back into bed. But I also want to get things done. Is the monster of depression feeding on me again, because I'm starting to feel listless. Please, leave me alone. I have work to do. I have to finish eating. I take several more bites while reading over all that I wrote before this line. A great distraction. The tears even subside a bit. The anger? I don't know. But now my head is starting to ache, just slightly. And I think am beginning to feel the tar (depression) inside of me. I pause to finish the remaining cereal. And now I'm just looking at my laptop screen wondering if this helped anybody.


Popular posts from this blog

Lighten Up

Scared But Motivated

Bi-Polar Awareness Day