Why

Why

Why. Why. Why.

It echoes inside of me and bounces around on my ruined walls. The eternal question which has not ceased to nag at me. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. I muffle it with emptiness as the beast in my pit roars and growls with hunger, its rumbling screaming over the internal voice.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. WHY. WHY?!

Silence!! Stop!! No more. I don't want to hear you. Leave me alone!! I bury the voice under the pounds I shed and drown it out in the salty sweat that pours from me. Why. Why. Why. I flee from it into the coldest parts of me, stumbling over shattered pieces of my frame and cutting myself on its edges. The blood forms small beads and scabs over, protecting the exposed areas. Why. Why. Why.
The voice pushes through still. Silence it, gotta silence it. Gotta find out where the voice is hiding and silence. Get rid of it. I mean, I know it's in me... but where? I increase my efforts to drive it out. More emptiness, less pounds, more sweat, more blood, more screaming until...

... Why. Why. Why. Why. WHY. Why? WHY?
It's still there... of course it is. My frustrated screams create a twisted harmony with the question until they are both so in unison that one can't tell where my voice ends and where the noise begins. I cave, surrounded by the chaos as it folds in around me, on me, in me. Why. Why. Why. Why. This is all I hear... This question, this one word over and over and over and over. I've gone mad trying to escape it but I don't care, I have to be louder than it. I will.

Do not ask me what the question is because I am not at liberty to say.

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