...


...

I looked up online a shelter for abused women. I applied for it and immediately felt fear. What was I doing? How could I do this? Leave Ed, my... "best friend"? But I felt a drive and compulsion to stick with it.

Hey.
I jumped at the sound of his presence. Hi.
What are you doing?
What was I doing? Nothing. Uh, nothing.
You're making a mistake, you know?
What are you talking about?
We both know what you're doing.
It's not like I'm leaving tonight or anything.
So you are planning on leaving, then?
Why was I the one feeling bad? No, I just... I don't know. I sighed.
That's okay, I already told you you could leave. I'm not stopping you. It just sucks what's going to happen.
What do you mean "what's going to happen"?
Look at you, you haven't reached your goal. What do you think is going to happen when you start listening to her again?
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. No, don't panic. He's wrong, don't panic.
That's okay, at least you'll be happy, right? Happy and fa--
Stop! Don't say that, I'm not going to be that.
Have you forgotten what the numbers said? You're three pounds away from that number as it is. Oh, but that's right, B's going to help you "even out", right? He laughed and I felt like throwing up. Anxiety pulsed through me and I started to feel very exhausted at this whole contemplation. What was I thinking? This whole thing is stupid. Have I lost my mind?
You know what, you're right, you don't need me. You and... B will be perfectly fine without me. Like before. I'll just pack my bags and leave.
Why was I panicking? Wait, you don't have to pack anything. I mean, it's not like I'm packing my things yet.
No, no, no, apparently you're so unhappy with me. Obviously B is what's best for you, she's the one that's going to make you happy. You'll be perfect with her, right?
Stop.
She's the one you need, right? You two will look so good together. Like before. So perfect.
Please stop.
Then what do you want?
Well, I don't want you making me feel bad about this.
Look, do you want me to stay or not? Me... or her.
Why can't it just be both?
Choose.
I don't know!
Choose!
...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Journey So Far

Lighten Up

No One Would Have Guessed