Not Right Now
That picture is so perfect for my post today... On Tuesday this week, I got a promotion! Not just any promotion but one for which I had been hoping since shortly after I started at my job. One of the kids at work has autism and has a personal mentor to assist him and hang out with him during his time there. Shortly after I started working, his, at the time, current mentor was given a promotion of her own which meant there was a spot now open for a new one for him. I spoke to my boss about my interest and while she wasn't against it, she preferred for me to stick around in what was my current position as a Youth Development Professional so I'd have room to advance in the company instead of "just" being a mentor. Though I was a bit disappointed, I accepted what she said and continued to do my job diligently. Soon after, a new girl was hired but a few months in and there was talk of her changing positions to become a YDP which would mean there would be an opening, once again. I shared with my boss that I was still very interested and would love to be placed in the position if need be. She agreed that I would be the perfect fit and on Tuesday, I started officially (I say officially because I have worked with this child before in this capacity) as his new and permanent one-on-one mentor.
I was so excited and still am because this is something I've wanted since the beginning and I have a sense of pride knowing that I kept working and stuck with the company even though I didn't get my 'yes' right away. I am so glad that I still had a good attitude and I think it shows great professionalism that I worked toward a better position in the same company. It shows determination, I feel. And it shows trust in God. Was I expecting to get the position even after my boss' first response? I wasn't "expecting" it but I was still very hopeful for it. I had been feeling more and more overwhelmed lately in my former position as a YDP and I was starting to dislike what I did. Even though working with a child with special needs is a whole lot of work, for me, it is less tiring and draining because I only have one child to focus on throughout the day instead of 25-30.
I really love being able to write on this blog about my experiences and what I've learned. And what this instance has taught me is that a delayed 'yes' is not always a 'no'. I'll repeat and reiterate that, a delayed 'yes' is not always a 'no'. Sometimes, it simply means not right now. It means to wait, to be patient. It doesn't mean that God hasn't heard my prayer or that He is unaware of my wants and desires, it just means, not yet. Sometimes, we pray and pray but get discouraged and give up because that for which we've prayed hasn't happened or come to fruition yet. Or we might find ourselves going into a downward spiral and wracked with worry over what we're going to do since seemingly our prayers have not been heard. I know I had been struggling with rest over the fact that it seems all I've been able to afford lately has been gas and rent lol. Before I got that raise in January, I was trying not to fret over how I'd manage saving any money. After the raise, I was reminded that God has totally got me.
And in light of this amazing promotion, I'm calmed with the knowledge that not only has the Lord got me but He is aware of my desires and wants and is constantly, constantly working on my behalf. I just now remembered that I had recently been studying the scriptures in Matthew which encourage us to continue to "ask, seek, and knock" for what we need. I was jotting down in my prayer journal what I felt that pertained to in my life but I hadn't considered that it could apply to how I continued to hope for this position at work. It literally just dawned on me as I typed this out. The Bible tells us that God knows our heart's desires* and will indeed give them to us as we place Him first in all things and trust and follow Him. I know that to be completely true.
As I look over my life, specifically my working life, I am so blessed to see how I was able to always have worked at a job that I loved. I was able to work with my hands at a warehouse, I was able to work with kids, I've been a live-in nanny, I worked at a pizza shop which showed me that I could do more than just work with kids (though I didn't dislike working with children, I had begun to fear that it was all I was capable of doing). All throughout my life, God has taken notice of what was important to me and has answered a lot of my wants. Please do not listen when people say that God is not interested in giving us what we want because it's simply not so. God will not always give us everything we want, especially if it goes against what He wants for us, but He certainly is not some grumpy, uninvolved parent who only gives us socks for Christmas. He will answer that request of an "Easy Bake Oven", sometimes we just have to wait.
The Bible states that those who wait on the Lord will have their strength renewed. How that is so true for me! I now awaken in the morning with excitement and anticipation for my work day and don't feel bogged down with exhaustion over my duties. God has definitely paid attention to my heart and has blessed me, blessed me, blessed me. And He just keeps doing so. I just have to be patient and know that He hears me when I speak to Him. I have to wait and trust that what I think is a delayed 'yes' is not an absolute 'no'. And I have to trust in His love for me knowing that He wants to give me good things. Jesus wants good for me.
Friends, if you've been praying and praying and praying for something and have yet to see it come to fruition, please don't lose hope. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it never will. Keep asking and believing and being hopeful for it. And thank God for it as though you have it! If you are tired with where you are now, take comfort in knowing that God sees that and He is steadily (consistently, diligently, unwaveringly) working on your behalf. He has not lost sight of you, and your needs as well as wants are not too small or too big for Him. I stated at the start of this post saying how perfectly I felt the above image is. Well, if I may tweak it just a bit...
Work hard, be patient, trust in the Lord and the rest will follow.